TriCities Parenting, API

About TriCities Parenting API

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TriCities Parenting, API is a non-profit parental support group that is affiliated with Attachment Parenting International (API). We offer a supportive environment for the discussion of parenting issues relating to pregnancy, nutrition, sleep, discipline, affection, child care, and marriage.

The mission of API is to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful, and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world. API promotes science-based parenting practices that create strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and their parents.

Attachment Parenting is a positive, loving, empathic style of parenting with the goal of fulfilling the child’s need for the trust, empathy and affection necessary to create healthy attachments and secure, enduring relationships. The ‘tools,’ or methods, of Attachment Parenting are means of achieving this goal rather than ends unto themselves.

Attachment Parenting isn't "new". It is in many ways a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last 60 years, the behaviors of attachment parenting have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for areas that are key to the optimal development of children, summarized in API's Eight Principles of Parenting.

Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we would like for them to interact with others.

Babywearing

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One of the simplest ways to incorporate nurturing touch into your life with babies and/or young children is by babywearing. "Babywearing" is simply carrying a child with a carrier that leaves one or both hands free in order to continue with daily tasks. Babywearing offers many practical advantages, including:

Allowing the caregiver to clean, cook, and perform other chores while meeting the needs of the family.
Keeping the child away from germs or unsafe situations.
Avoiding the hassle of maneuvering a stroller through crowded stores or when visiting zoos, museums, or other places with limited handicap ramps.
Keeping an energetic toddler close to parents when shopping or otherwise unable to play chase.
Continuing active care of an older child or children when a new baby arrives.
Reducing infant crying.

Babywearing International provides a brief introduction to babywearing, including more benefits, information about choosing a carrier, safety considerations, and babywearing terms.

There are several types of wonderful commercial baby carriers available, although it is possible to babywear with a simple piece of cloth. Most carriers have a learning curve. At each meeting, we will have various carriers available to test (using a doll). Leaders and other attendees may also be able to help individuals who are learning to use carriers.

Basic Instructions for Different Carrier Types

Peppermint.com - Instructions for several different carriers, including ring slings, wraparound slings, pouch, Ergo (soft-structured carrier), mei tais, kangas, and rebozos.
Ring Sling - From Storchenweige, a German maker of slings. Includes many helpful tips.
Wraparound Sling (Wrap) - More instructions from Storchenweige.

More Babywearing Resources

TheBabywearer.com - Includes a popular discussion forum and wiki about babywearing. Plus an active For Sale or Trade forum to find used carriers.
The Mamatoto Project - To educate the public about babywearing.
Babywearing.com - This forum is giving away one free baby carrier per month!

Feeding Young Children

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Breastfeeding

Although breastfeeding is one of the most natural things we can do to care for our children, it does not always come easily, and there are definitely occasions when many mothers need support. We are fortunate in the TriCities area to have a large network of breastfeeding supporters, including lactation consultants, breastfeeding product merchants, and other breastfeeding mothers willing to offer support.

Local Breastfeeding Resources
La Leche League of Bristol TN/VA - support groups in Bristol, Damascus, and Johnson City
BABE Breastfeeding Coalition of Northeast Tennessee
The Nursing Nook - pumps and supplies in Johnson City, TN
Breastfeeding Essentials - Breastfeeding consultations, supplies, and support group in Kingsport, TN
Local Health Departments - classes, support groups, WIC
Lactation Consultants

Other Breastfeeding Resources
La Leche League International
Kellymom
The National Women's Health Information Center
American Academy of Pediatrics
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Breastfeeding Helpline 800-994-9662
Breastfeeding.com

Bottle Feeding

For those mothers who, for whatever reason, are not breastfeeding, it is possible to achieve some of the benefits of breastfeeding by "bottle nursing" your child. By holding the child in breastfeeding position while feeding and engaging an alert child with eye contact, caresses, and warm words, a mother can initiate a secure attachment with her child. Read More.

Recommended Books

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With a combination of donations, books purchased with group funds, and books from leaders' personal bookshelves, we offer a substantial library of resources for members seeking to supplement their parenting toolbox or facing a particular challenge. Go to Goodreads to view the complete list of available titles. Note that not all titles may be available at each meeting, so it is best to contact a leader in advance of a meeting to request a book.

The content of many of these books address one or more of API's Eight Principles of Parenting. Other titles available may address issues facing parents today that are not directly related to Attachment Parenting, such as specific diets, vaccinations, and education. Inclusion of these titles does not imply that API takes any stance on such issues, but that we encourage parents to make informed decisions regarding all parenting issues.

While these books contain valuable information, they may also include some passages that do not follow attachment parenting philosophy. For example, API does not support any reference to spanking or violence against children. We encourage you to use your own discretion in reading these books or in evaluating any parenting philosophy.

Positive Discipline

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Your father, Jo . . .showed me that I must try to practise all the virtues I would have my little girls possess, for I was their example. It was easier to try for your sakes than for my own; a startled or surprised look from one of you, when I spoke sharply, rebuked me more than any words could have done; and the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.
~Marmee in Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

Actions speak louder than words, and children will, eventually, exhibit the behavior that we model for them. Treating people, both our children and other people of all ages, as we would like to be treated, is the first step in raising children who have a conscience guided by internal discipline and compassion for others

Positive discipline is rooted in a secure, trusting, connected relationship between parent and child. Discipline that is empathetic, loving and respectful strengthens the connection between parent and child, while harsh or overly-punitive discipline weakens the connection. Remember that the ultimate goal of discipline is to help children develop self-control and self-discipline. Read More.

What Positive Discipline is Not

Permissiveness. Positive discipline does not mean letting children overrun other people. It does not mean no limits. See It's Not Called Permissive Parenting at API Reads.
Indulgence. Positive discipline does not mean giving a child everything he/she wants at the expense of ourselves and others.
Praising good behavior while ignoring bad behavior. See The Case Against Gold Stars, by Alfie Kohn.
Using time-out in leui of spankings. Read The Case Against Time Out, by Peter Haiman, PhD.
"New age" parenting. It is the way humans parented their children before people wrote books on parenting, and the way some cultures continue to parent.
Free of consequences. Children learn through natural consequences, and in some cases, logical consequences.
Being a "perfect" parent. Each of us have bad days and moments, and many of us struggle to parent in a way that is different from what we experienced as children.

Although there are a range of different styles of positive discipline, the overarching philosophy remains the same. What positive discipline looks like differs from home to home, depending on the principles of the particular family. TriCities Parenting API is here to provide support and information, not to judge. We realize that practicing positive discipline does not come easily to many of us; we are here to support one another to nurture our children for a compassionate world.

Healthy Recipes

2006-05-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Breakfast

Cormilda

Ingredients:
1 cup uncooked quinoa
1/2 tsp sea salt
3 cups water
1/2 cup dried or fresh fruit (decrease amount of water added if using frozen fruit)
1 Tbsp coconut oil, olive oil, or butter
1 tsp honey (optional)
1/3 cup cornmeal
14 oz coconut milk, cream, or milk (optional)

1. Combine first six ingredients in sauce pan and bring to boil.
2. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes.
3. Reduce heat or turn off burner and gradually whisk in cornmeal until cereal is thick.
4. Stir in coconut milk, cream, or milk (optional)

Snacks

Kale Chips

Ingredients:

Cut up pieces of kale
Coconut or olive oil
Sea salt

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Farenheit.
2. Carefully wash and trim stalks from kale. Tear into approximately chip-sized pieces.
3. Spread kale pieces on baking sheet in one layer.
4. Drizzle kale with oil and then shake on salt.
5. Place in oven until crispy, but not brown (approximately 15 minutes).

Meeting Topic Archives

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Please be patient for updates to this page.

Support Group Meetings

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Support group meetings are free to the public. Parents, expectant parents, children, and grandparents are welcome.

Bristol

Meetings are held on the second Wednesday of each month at 10:00 a.m. at Java J's Coffee House, 501 State Street, Bristol, VA, 24201. Breastfeeding Cafe follows from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Johnson City

Meetings are held on the second Sunday of each month (except Mother's Day in May) at 4:00 p.m. at Shakti in the Mountains, 409 East Unaka Avenue, Johnson City, TN 37601.

Kingsport - For information about monthly playgroups, contact Carrie at 423.323.3239.

Meeting Guidelines

Everyone will be treated with respect and courtesy regardless of their parenting style or views.
Gentle, positive discipline and guidance of children is encouraged. No hitting, spanking, and/or verbal abuse at group functions. Parents are encouraged to attend to the needs of their children as needed during meetings.
The group should not be used as a vehicle for selling products or services. Group members who wish to do so may talk individually to potential customers in a non-intrusive way before or after group meetings.
The right to privacy will be respected. No gossiping about group members and their situations outside of the group.
Please do not attend a meeting, or bring a sick child, within the first three days of the start of a respiratory illness, or within twenty-four hours of the cessation of diarrhea or vomiting.
Meetings are open to all interested parties without regard to race, religion, gender, or political viewpoint. No group will espouse or maintain a political or religious affiliation.

Membership

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By becoming a member of Attachment Parenting International (API), you help reach other parents and professionals through education, support, advocacy, and research. API's efforts touch the lives of parents worldwide through local support groups, The Attached Family (a quarterly publication), the monthly API Links eNEWSLETTER, and national advocacy efforts.

In addition, your membership donation contributes to innovative projects such as the creation of a comprehensive Attachment Parenting Parent Education Program, the formation of strategic alliances with like-minded organizations, the expansion of API's network of AP-friendly Professionals, and materials to provide for API's Safe Sleep Campaign.

Your membership in API helps TriCities Parenting, API to purchase books for the lending library, reprint handouts, produce brochures, and cover other expenses. API leaders are volunteers.

Membership is just $35 per year and is tax-deductible ($15 remains with TriCities Parenting, API).

Benefits of membership include:

Four issues of The Attached Family magazine, with sign-up complimentary edition.
Membership to the online extension of The Attached Family.
Subscription to the monthly members-only eZine.
Delivery of API's annual scientific journal.
Access to TriCities Parenting API lending library.
Access to API Reads, an online forum for discussion with Attachment Parenting authors.
Discounts on API teleclasses.

Click here to join online.
To pay via cash or check, please contact one of the TriCities Parenting, API leaders.

Membership is not required to attend our meetings but your yearly dues are important to promote and sustain the activities of our group and support the work of API's national headquarters.

API's Eight Principles of Parenting

2006-05-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

Attachment Parenting isn't new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for areas that are key to the optimal development of children, summarized below in API's Eight Principles of Parenting.

The following are condensed versions of the principles. Each principle is covered extensively in the book Attached at the Heart.

Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for healthcare providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible.

Feed with Love and Respect

Breastfeeding is the optimal way to satisfy an infant's nutritional and emotional needs. "Bottle Nursing" adapts breastfeeding behaviors to bottle-feeding to help initiate a secure attachment. Follow the feeding cues for both infants and children, encouraging them to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Offer healthy food choices and model healthy eating behavior.

Respond with Sensitivity

Build the foundation of trust and empathy beginning in infancy. Tune in to what your child is communicating to you, then respond consistently and appropriately. Babies cannot be expected to self-soothe, they need calm, loving, empathetic parents to help them learn to regulate their emotions. Respond sensitively to a child who is hurting or expressing strong emotion, and share in their joy.

Use Nurturing Touch

Touch meets a baby's needs for physical contact, affection, security, stimulation, and movement. Skin-to-skin contact is especially effective, such as during breastfeeding, bathing, or massage. Carrying or babywearing also meets this need while on the go. Hugs, snuggling, back rubs, massage, and physical play help meet this need in older children.

Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally

Babies and children have needs at night just as they do during the day; from hunger, loneliness, and fear, to feeling too hot or too cold. They rely on parents to soothe them and help them regulate their intense emotions. Sleep training techniques can have detrimental physiological and psychological effects. Safe co-sleeping has benefits to both babies and parents.

Provide Consistent and Loving Care

Babies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. If it becomes necessary, choose an alternate caregiver who has formed a bond with the child and who cares for him in a way that strengthens the attachment relationship. Keep schedules flexible, and minimize stress and fear during short separations.

Practice Positive Discipline

Positive discipline helps a child develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline and compassion for others. Discipline that is empathetic, loving, and respectful strengthens the connection between parent and child. Rather than reacting to behavior, discover the needs leading to the behavior. Communicate and craft solutions together while keeping everyone's dignity intact.

Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

It is easier to be emotionally responsive when you feel in balance. Create a support network, set realistic goals, put people before things, and don't be afraid to say "no". Recognize individual needs within the family and meet them to the greatest extent possible without compromising your physical and emotional health. Be creative, have fun with parenting, and take time to care for yourself.

Contact Us

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Our leaders are volunteers who strive to practice Attachment Parenting and are committed to supporting others in their parenting journey. They have access to a wealth of information provided by API, but are not physicians and cannot provide medical advice. Please contact us with any questions about our group or about Attachment Parenting in general!

Samantha Gray
423-878-8359

Christian Emmert
423-202-2082

Carrie Schaefer

423-323-3239

TriCities Parenting API Discussion Forum

2005-10-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

Contact Carrie for access to the forum.